The Power of “How Are You Doing?”
Campfire Chat with Samantha Clark, Associate Director, Learning and Education for SeriousFun Children’s Network. Join us Around the Campfire for a monthly sampling of inspiration, impact, camp-inspired recipes, activities and crafts, and more!
So, how are you doing? It’s such a simple question, but I was reminded during a recent visit to Victory Junction, the SeriousFun camp in North Carolina, of just how powerful this question can be for any kid, but especially for our campers with serious illnesses. It was humbling to see how eagerly a teenage camper living with Sickle Cell Anemia opened up to me when he realized I was truly listening to him.
The reason I was visiting the camp was to help the staff incorporate some new, research-based Social Emotional Learning (SEL) principles into their already robust SEL practices. So, to model some of these principles, I joined a few of the Victory Junction campers who were going through their adventure course. After spending some time with them and cheering with their counselors as they triumphed over the course, I approached one of the teens who had raced up the tower multiple times blindfolded and said, “Hey! How are you doing?”
He very enthusiastically replied, “I’m good! I’ve got all my friends here to cheer me on!” This response absolutely made my day because our goal at SeriousFun camps is to create an environment where our campers feel safe to make friends and have fun and, according to this camper, we had succeeded!
I asked him a few follow-up questions according to the methodology, and once he realized I was truly interested in and listening to him, throughout the remainder of the morning this camper began telling me all about his diagnosis, and what it’s like living with sickle cell, and the freedom he feels at camp because it is safe to take risks that he would never be allowed to do at home (like climb a tower blindfolded!) He shared how much he valued being at camp with other kids who had the same diagnosis, and that he was hoping to come back to camp as a counselor when he was old enough. But first, he had to convince his mom to let him get his driver’s license!
I will always cherish that conversation, not only because I had earned his trust but also because I got to experience the impact of the work I do, first hand.
For many of our campers, because of treatments and appointments and medications and care schedules, they don’t feel like they have much control over their lives. When you ask them a simple question like “How are you doing?” and really take the time to listen to their answer, you give them control of the conversation; they get to be in charge of what they want to talk about, and you end up connecting with them in a way that is therapeutic for both of you!
When was the last time you asked someone, “How are you doing?”